How is it that something that has always made me fearful should become my saving grace?
Since early childhood, the thought of being left alone has frightened me. The absence of another to care for me seemed like the ultimate bereavement. My dependence on others for protection and provision stayed long after adulthood. Even in my later years, being left by my husband in death appeared the worst kind of abandonment.
However, God in His wisdom, began along the way to strengthen me, little by little. For over ten years after our move to Spokane, my husband went on the road leaving me to handle things at home. It seemed that he was away whenever emergency situations arose, such as when our tree landed on a neighbor’s home during a wind storm.
Over time, the Lord showed me His trustworthy nature through various family crises and health concerns. I learned that I could trust Him to get me through those incidents, but also that He would be with me through them.
Following my husband’s passing, I found myself alone for hours at a time. In spite of attempts to overfill my schedule, I began to notice a desire for the peace that solitude brought. My devotions became the highlight of my day. Prayer-time started to include time just thinking, listening, reflecting. The peace this brought was incredible!
I began to commune with the Lord throughout my day. I found myself awakening to the realization of answered prayer. Yes, God had given me some grandson time as I’d requested. I didn’t have to plan out a strategy to accomplish this goal.
Maybe this was the peace I’d longed for–to fall back into His arms and trust Him with each aspect of my life. To thank Him for every facet of my existence and be aware, more and more, of His choreography of my steps. To notice each bit of support for myself. I am not alone in my solitude.
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NLT”
I will be your God throughout your lifetime–until your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. Isaiah 46:4 NLT”
Dianna
Sharing the Fruit of Maturity
