Since early childhood, I have dealt with shyness. For whatever reason, I did not feel comfortable in social situations. I guess that would label me a life-long introvert.
Anyway, it was difficult for me to speak publicly, or even in small groups. My inner self wanted desperately to be heard and acknowledged. However, by the time I’d worked up the courage to speak up, the current topic being discussed had changed numerous times and my comments were no longer pertinent.
I guess maybe that’s why I find writing preferable as a means of communication to speaking. I continued through my youth and into adulthood, growing slowly but surely into my own person, able to express myself somewhat.
It wasn’t until becoming a Christian at around age thirty that I found more courage. The addition of the Holy Spirit residing within me made a world of difference. I was confident in my faith in spite of lacking the same in myself, but Holy Spirit was far from done with my progress. This was especially true since my daily asking for His filling and direction of thoughts, words, and actions, He had begun to change my courage level.
Recently, He has helped me to take advantage of opportunities to serve I previously would have turned down, due to fear of failure, or looming difficulties I imagined. Now, I find myself reaching out to total strangers at church when they choose to sit in my usual spot on the back row. As a consequence, I’ve developed a number of friendships, including a fellow writer I invited to our writing group. Some of the other new friends are planning on starting a Bible Study.
Another growth opportunity has been volunteering as a Reading Buddy for a local grade school. Once a week, I get to work with kindergartners as we hang out and work on their reading skills. I came close to turning down this opportunity due to the fear of filling out a background check. However, Holy Spirit helped me overcome this apprehension, take a chance at being rejected, and therefore was accepted.
Now, because of this, I have been asked to be videotaped doing my Reading Buddy role with the kids for encouragement to other church members to volunteer. Although it makes me shake in my boots, I’ve agreed to do it. I never would have imagined myself in such an out-there kind of experience. Is shy little Dianna finally going to come out of hiding? I think Holy Spirit has that in mind.