Ever since the culmination of widowhood, I have embraced gratitude as a means of handling the anxiety that my husband’s absence brought to me. I had come into our marriage with a needy expectation of his support and father role in my life. Who would now take care of me and give me needed advice and counsel, especially with my lesser abilities, such as technical areas or budgeting? Who would protect me?
As an aid to conquer these fears and build up my self-confidence, I began the habit of reviewing each night that day’s blessings and thanking God for each one, regardless of how basic it was.
With this redeeming habit, I noticed how my outlook started warming up with a more positive viewpoint, rather than being plagued with worry or gloom and doom. I could enjoy my days and nights with more appreciation, especially as I recognized what a loving Lord I had who cared for me as a perfect new husband and father. I began noticing throughout the day as well as at its end, all the little and large ways my God blessed me or even came to my rescue. I became more and more aware of His presence, constantly there for me. I could thank Him for instant answers or long-term waiting periods for some planned lesson he had arranged for my good. I had an ongoing communication with Him during my usual time alone in my condo, in my head or spoken aloud. Living alone has its benefits.
As this new lifestyle of gratitude continues, I’ve noticed a more positive attitude in general and my joy in serving God has increased exponentially. Neighbors and friends ask me how I maintain my good mood and I have to admit that it’s not me. It’s all HIM. I ask the Holy Spirit to control my thoughts, my words, and my actions. It all starts with gratitude.