I watched the snowflakes twirling down like sifted powdered sugar against the towering pine trees outside the window of my treetop nest. My plan had been to try a drawing class at a nearby Senior Center to fill a vacant Wednesday afternoon. I assessed my decision to stay home in the snow globe-like weather as wise.
Besides, what made it necessary for me to fill up every possible gap in my days with some sort of activity? Could it be that my fear of loneliness and isolation in widowhood was causing me to go to extremes by packing-out my social calendar? What was wrong with spending a quiet afternoon alone?
Actually, I knew better than to think I was alone. Didn’t I just read in “Jesus Calling” this very thing:
“Come to Me and rest. I am all about you, to bless and restore. Breathe Me in with each breath. The way just ahead of you is very steep. Slow down and cling tightly to My hand. I am teaching you a difficult lesson, learned only by hardship.
Lift up empty hands of faith to receive My Precious Presence. Light, Life, Joy, and Peace flow freely through this gift. When your focus turns away from Me, you grasp for other things. You drop the glowing gift of My Presence as you reach for lifeless ashes. Return to Me; regain My Presence.”
In this quiet reverie, I could practice His presence as I watched the wonder of his creation, granting me a show of serene beauty. I would remember His words of assurance that He was ever with me, on busy days as well as times of peaceful repose.
As Joshua was preparing to fill the huge sandals of Moses, his Master, an angel encouraged him with these words: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)”
Moses had to be a difficult act to follow for Joshua, just as attempting to carry on where my husband left off would not be easy. However, the same factor that made it possible in both cases was the Lord’s presence. He walks besides me through my struggles and my victories, taking me by my right hand.
“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13 NIV)”
Isn’t our time here on earth just a preparation for when we go home to be with Him in Heaven? My times with Him now when I focus on His presence should be kept as special and exciting, like a couple who have time together. After all, now that I am a widow, God is my husband.
“For your Maker is your husband–the Lord Almighty is his name–the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer: he is called the God of all the earth. (Isaiah 54:5 NIV)”
I will continue to seek out others for fellowship and share our gifts with one another and with those who need us. However, I have decided to include frequent scheduled times of meeting privately with my Lord and Savior. We will converse as He speaks to me through scripture and I speak to Him in prayer. We will enjoy each other’s company, remembering the good times and the bad, where He walked beside me, giving me love, courage and wisdom. His presence will bless me the rest of my days into Eternity.
Dianna
Sharing the Fruit of Maturity
