It was some time following my husband’s passing that I realized I had picked up a new motto: “You can do this.” I found myself saying this over and over on various occasions.
At first, I thought it was just my encouragement of whatever inanimate object I happened to be working on. This might be a lock I wanted open, or a checking account I was trying to balance. Then I realized that was silly. How could said object receive such counsel? I was really talking to myself. But why?
You need to understand that my background is full of overprotective loved ones. My folks pampered me to the point that upon high school graduation, I felt the need to find a distant college, just to prove I could make it on my own. Please understand, they meant it in the most loving way, but I had learned to be helpless in various areas.
When my husband came along, he added to my dependence by taking care of me. When I recently found myself a widow after 47 years, I was lost. Especially was this the case in fixing things and dealing with finances.
So, I became aware of my need to grow more independent. I guess that’s when I started using the phrase, “You can do this.” It’s become such a habit, I’ve been caught repeating it to myself aloud, such as when unloading my Christmas decorations in my storage closet. I’ve learned to just laugh it off as whoever hears me rushes away to avoid my mysterious behavior.
Believe me, it does help because no one else is going to provide the cheerleading needed. Some might find my lack of experience taking care of myself unusual, but I think there are other widows out there living out my dilemma. Please feel free to use my phrase to help. Your confidence will grow with each new accomplishment so that you can build on your successes.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
Besides which, you can remind yourself that you are not alone in your struggles. God cares for widows, so you can call on Him to help. When I’ve needed to make a big decision, He has given me answers or at least ideas through Bible verses, sermons, dreams, even songs. I’m not discounting good advice from Christian friends and family, either.
The Holy Spirit also gives me counsel whenever I ask for it. Whether I’m dealing with a relationship issue or a household problem, he helps me recall a verse or sharpens my ability to complete my task. So maybe I should extend my motto to: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 NLT”
Dianna
Sharing the Fruit of Maturity
